Riley Dao has a complicated history with road cycling – equal parts obsession and burnout, with a big dose of sarcastic humor thrown in. Better known as Road Toads, Dao has built a sizable following on social media by shitposting acidic observations and goofy sketches about his love/hate relationship with the sport. Despite his jaded perspective, the Tour de France still holds a strange kind of magic – so when the opportunity came to see it up close, Riley figured it was worth stepping into the madness. Join Road Toads for a journey to the heart of the biggest cycling event in the world…

 
 
I have an interesting relationship with road cycling. I’m a half-obsessed, half-jaded, burnt-out road and track cyclist who makes lowbrow commentary on the internet. My only online presence is to talk (or whine) about bikes. My only job title has ever been at a bike shop. Of course, being this deep into the game means that I’ll nerd out about bikes at the drop of a hat, but at this point, I wouldn’t say I’m enamored with all things bike.

I don’t care what length Pogacar’s cranks are, I’m not mad at the UCI for creating another obscure rule that hardly anyone in my hemisphere is even under jurisdiction for, and no, I don’t shave my legs before every ride. That being said, the Tour de France has always been the gateway for cycling as a lifestyle or sport. When I was presented with the opportunity to spend three days in France to watch it on the ground, of course I had to see what was up.

So after a month-long block of track racing in Philadelphia and a short trip back to Los Angeles, I headed out for Northern France. What I assumed would be a three-day paid vacation instead became a 72-hour whirlwind of jetlag chasing after the peloton as they headed for the French coast.

If you’re into the racing, what you see on TV is about 90% of the experience of watching the Tour roadside. Live broadcasts and stage recaps attempt to contextualize everything that was once mystical. Cycling has become such a data-driven and analytics-heavy sport. But standing on the street and feeling the infectious energy alongside the cycling fanatics from all around the world, the energy really is different. There’s a celebration of the riders, of the streets, and of the culture that just can’t be conveyed. You just gotta be there to understand. Ring the cowbell, heckle the riders, drink the Kool-Aid.

Special thanks to Ketone-IQ for helping Riley with travel and logistics for this trip.